Blaming
him: “I will respect him when he earns my respect.” Blaming
self: “He would love me more if I were prettier.” Blaming
circumstance: “More money equals less stress.” These common
myths and many more, are exposed as false paths to happiness by
Rhonda Stoppe in her newest book.
Stoppe
tells wives that a fulfilling marriage takes effort. She is asserting
that personal happiness shouldn't depend on one's spouse – one
chapter's subtitle is “It's not your husband's job to make you
happy.” Changing a few of the details of life, like finances or
appearance [even changing husbands], won't bring fulfillment, either.
Giving up and blaming yourself isn't the answer. This book calls
for a new direction. The goal is not to create a satisfying life
through a happy-ever-after marriage, but to develop an ever-closer
relationship with God, which will affect all areas of life, including
the marriage relationship.
The
key teaching here is that “true happiness is found in your
relationship with Christ.” That relationship is strengthened
through prayer, reading the Bible, and applying its teaching. Stoppe
shares many specific ideas for managing finances, developing
intimacy, raising children, and a host of other facets of marriage,
but she never lets the reader lose sight of the primacy of walking
with God and finding happiness with Him.
One
weakness of the book is the contradiction between the teaching that
one should focus on God and be satisfied in Him even though a spouse
might never change, and occasional statements that a wife's improved
appearance, attitude, or behavior will “surely” elicit a positive
reaction from her husband. One may hope, and it is possible, but it
is not “sure” and could easily hinder someone who struggles with
thoughts like “if only I were better” to retain that way of
thinking instead of moving on to serving God without using Him as a
means to an end.
The
book invites readers to access additional information at the website
the author shares with her husband, Steve, who also contributes
thoughts [“From a Husband's Perspective”] at the end of most
chapters. The website is easy to navigate and is genuinely helpful,
not just a “store”.
Since
Steppe's key to a happy life involves fellowship with God, she
includes a three page appendix, “How to Have a Relationship with
Jesus.” Many Christian authors present this vital material
awkwardly, as if it were a last-moment addition with no connection to
the rest of the text. Here, it is a natural part of the book, given
in the frank yet easy-going style that the reader will find
throughout the book.
“If
My Husband Would Change, I'd Be Happy” would be a practical gift
for women who are soon to be married, but could also be useful to
women who have spent frustrating years misled by common myths about
what makes a “happy-ever-after” marriage.
Meet The Author:
Rhonda Stoppe is the NO REGRETS WOMAN with more than 20 years experience of helping women live life with no regrets. "I could have listened to Rhonda talk all night" is what women say about Rhonda's enthusiastic, genuine, and transparent style of teaching. Through humor and honest communication she helps women build NO-REGRETS LIVES by applying sound teaching from Scripture. Rhonda appears on radio programs and speaks at women's events, MOPs, and homeschool conventions throughout the nation. Rhonda Stoppe's book Moms Raising Sons to be Men is mentoring thousands of moms to guide sons toward a no-regrets life. Her new book, If My Husband Would Change I'd be Happy---And Other Myths Wives Believe, is helping countless women build no-regrets marriages.
Find out more about Rhonda at http://www.rhondastoppe.com.
This reviewer received the
product free or at a discounted price in order to bring you an honest
review. No other form of compensation was given. All opinions are
those of the reviewer.
