Friday, August 5, 2016

If My Husband Would Change, I'd be Happy ~ A Book Review

Blaming him: “I will respect him when he earns my respect.” Blaming self: “He would love me more if I were prettier.” Blaming circumstance: “More money equals less stress.” These common myths and many more, are exposed as false paths to happiness by Rhonda Stoppe in her newest book.

Stoppe tells wives that a fulfilling marriage takes effort. She is asserting that personal happiness shouldn't depend on one's spouse – one chapter's subtitle is “It's not your husband's job to make you happy.” Changing a few of the details of life, like finances or appearance [even changing husbands], won't bring fulfillment, either. Giving up and blaming yourself isn't the answer. This book calls for a new direction. The goal is not to create a satisfying life through a happy-ever-after marriage, but to develop an ever-closer relationship with God, which will affect all areas of life, including the marriage relationship.

The key teaching here is that “true happiness is found in your relationship with Christ.” That relationship is strengthened through prayer, reading the Bible, and applying its teaching. Stoppe shares many specific ideas for managing finances, developing intimacy, raising children, and a host of other facets of marriage, but she never lets the reader lose sight of the primacy of walking with God and finding happiness with Him.

One weakness of the book is the contradiction between the teaching that one should focus on God and be satisfied in Him even though a spouse might never change, and occasional statements that a wife's improved appearance, attitude, or behavior will “surely” elicit a positive reaction from her husband. One may hope, and it is possible, but it is not “sure” and could easily hinder someone who struggles with thoughts like “if only I were better” to retain that way of thinking instead of moving on to serving God without using Him as a means to an end.

The book invites readers to access additional information at the website the author shares with her husband, Steve, who also contributes thoughts [“From a Husband's Perspective”] at the end of most chapters. The website is easy to navigate and is genuinely helpful, not just a “store”.

Since Steppe's key to a happy life involves fellowship with God, she includes a three page appendix, “How to Have a Relationship with Jesus.” Many Christian authors present this vital material awkwardly, as if it were a last-moment addition with no connection to the rest of the text. Here, it is a natural part of the book, given in the frank yet easy-going style that the reader will find throughout the book.

“If My Husband Would Change, I'd Be Happy” would be a practical gift for women who are soon to be married, but could also be useful to women who have spent frustrating years misled by common myths about what makes a “happy-ever-after” marriage.

Meet The Author:
Rhonda Stoppe is the NO REGRETS WOMAN with more than 20 years experience of helping women live life with no regrets. "I could have listened to Rhonda talk all night" is what women say about Rhonda's enthusiastic, genuine, and transparent style of teaching. Through humor and honest communication she helps women build NO-REGRETS LIVES by applying sound teaching from Scripture. Rhonda appears on radio programs and speaks at women's events, MOPs, and homeschool conventions throughout the nation. Rhonda Stoppe's book Moms Raising Sons to be Men is mentoring thousands of moms to guide sons toward a no-regrets life. Her new book, If My Husband Would Change I'd be Happy---And Other Myths Wives Believe, is helping countless women build no-regrets marriages.

Find out more about Rhonda at

This reviewer received the product free or at a discounted price in order to bring you an honest review. No other form of compensation was given. All opinions are those of the reviewer.

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