“CAN'T SLEEP? READ THIS ARTICLE”
by Rick Jones, Husband of the Minister's Wife
When I was pastoring, I often changed the church sign message myself. I enjoyed using unusual sayings that might attract attention, then remain in a driver's mind long after they had passed the sign. Occasionally, people would stop their vehicles on the side of the road and take pictures of the messages. That always made me feel like I'd done something right.
Once I used a series of three messages for a personal joke – though they each made sense on their own. I started with
CAN'T SLEEP?
DON'T COUNT SHEEP
TALK TO THE SHEPHERD
followed by
CAN'T SLEEP?
A CLEAR CONSCIENCE
MAKES A SOFT PILLOW
and ending with
TROUBLE SLEEPING?
COME HEAR
OUR
PASTOR PREACH!
I thought the last one was hilarious. I was sure people would think someone had pulled a fast one on the pastor, when I was the person who put it on the sign. Plus, the sermon that Sunday was called “A Cure for Insomnia”, in which I told people that a clear conscience makes a soft pillow, so they should talk to the Shepherd and confess their sins. [David relates his quality of sleep to his relationship with God in several Psalms.]
While that third message was up, one day Lois thought she heard something outside [we lived next to the church]. She stepped out and saw a woman who had stopped her van and was standing in our yard, taking pictures of the sign. When the photographer realized that she had an audience, she ran like she'd been caught vandalizing the sign! She jumped into her van and stomped the gas pedal, spinning her tires and spraying gravel into our grass as she made her “getaway”.
When Lois told me the story, we both had a good laugh. But I didn't think it was quite as funny when I was outside later, cleaning the lawn of gravel.
Next Friday: a sampling of some of the allegedly funny and clever church sign messages we displayed
