GUESTITORIAL

“GUESTITORIAL”

 by Rick Jones, husband of the Minister's Wife 

For months, Lois has been asking me to write a regular column for her blog. She tells me that visitors to her page would enjoy my insight and humor.

That made me suspicious, since she doesn't often try to increase my output of, as she sometimes labels it, “so-called humor.” Her response to my witty analysis of the day's news is often, “Are you sure you took your medication?” And when our boys were young, I would overhear her telling them, “Don't laugh at your father, it will only encourage him.” Now that they're grown, I'm sure they look back and wish they'd been more obedient.

Recent events involving food poisoning, amputation, and the electrical malfunction of a hospital bed, led me to decide that it's time to start writing. Plus, she's hinted that she's declared a moratorium on omelets until I do.

I plan a series of rambling ruminations revealing my role in random ropics [oh, excuse me, I meant “topics”] as a way to test the waters and see if you, Lois's readers, actually do have the patience to peruse my periodic pondering.

I don't know the frequency of these articles – that's up to Lois. And how much the doctors adjust my medication.

I'm told my style takes some getting used to, but with familiarity becomes almost tolerable. Like dandruff. I won't tell you who told me that, because that's not nice to do to someone on their own blog; also, I really want an omelet.

We also want feedback! Let Lois know if my writings made her site better or worse. Maybe my brand of humor will be amusing, maybe just annoying. Maybe you'll say, “I don't get it,” or echo the frequent comment, “Oh, I get it. I just don't enjoy it.”

If you comment, keep in mind that I'm seeking a name for this project. “Guestitorial” is the title for this one article. What should be the title for the ongoing series? Positive incentive: if I pick a title suggested by a reader, that person wins a prize [prize yet to be determined, because I just came up with the idea]. Negative incentive: if you don't help, I'm liable to invent a name that's even lamer than “Guestitorial.”

Oh, and an updated lead photo will be coming too!