Friday, September 18, 2015

Incessant Divagation



“CAN'T SLEEP? READ THIS ARTICLE” 
by Rick Jones, Husband of the Minister's Wife

When I was pastoring, I often changed the church sign message myself. I enjoyed using unusual sayings that might attract attention, then remain in a driver's mind long after they had passed the sign. Occasionally, people would stop their vehicles on the side of the road and take pictures of the messages. That always made me feel like I'd done something right.

Once I used a series of three messages for a personal joke – though they each made sense on their own. I started with

CAN'T SLEEP? 
DON'T COUNT SHEEP 
TALK TO THE SHEPHERD 

followed by

CAN'T SLEEP?
A CLEAR CONSCIENCE
MAKES A SOFT PILLOW

and ending with

TROUBLE SLEEPING?
COME HEAR
OUR PASTOR PREACH!

I thought the last one was hilarious. I was sure people would think someone had pulled a fast one on the pastor, when I was the person who put it on the sign. Plus, the sermon that Sunday was called “A Cure for Insomnia”, in which I told people that a clear conscience makes a soft pillow, so they should talk to the Shepherd and confess their sins. [David relates his quality of sleep to his relationship with God in several Psalms.]


While that third message was up, one day Lois thought she heard something outside [we lived next to the church]. She stepped out and saw a woman who had stopped her van and was standing in our yard, taking pictures of the sign. When the photographer realized that she had an audience, she ran like she'd been caught vandalizing the sign! She jumped into her van and stomped the gas pedal, spinning her tires and spraying gravel into our grass as she made her “getaway”.

When Lois told me the story, we both had a good laugh. But I didn't think it was quite as funny when I was outside later, cleaning the lawn of gravel.

Next Friday: a sampling of some of the allegedly funny and clever church sign messages we displayed

10 comments:

  1. I thought the set of quotes is serious about the whole Cant sleep thing, until I read the last one. Lol. Thanks for another amazing post.

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    1. The quotes were a lead up to his sermon series, but they were intended to get your attention!

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  2. I think it's great that you have a knack for quick-witted humor! lol It most definitely gets people's attention and with any hope (in this case) gets them to consider their faith :)

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    1. Good point! Getting people to think about their faith is important. But mainly their faith in what. We all have faith in something. Putting it in the right place is what is important!

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  3. I think it's a great way to invite more people to attend. The story with the woman was funny, but cleaning the lawn is definitely not fun.

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    1. I wish you could have seen her face. Deer in the headlights for sure!!

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  4. I love the humorous signs on church billboards.

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  5. I believe that clean conscience gives you peace of mind which helps you fall asleep every night because you know to yourself that you didn't do wrong to others and you were able to give a helping hand to the needy. Great post.

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    1. The conscience is an amazing thing. It explains the verse in Proverbs which says, "The wicked flees when no man pursues".
      I started the sermon about the clear conscience with this: a recent sleep study about the best way to sleep gave mixed results. Some people said they slept better while lying on their left side. Others slept better lying on their right side. Others slept better lying on their back. I say you'll sleep better if you don't lie at all, and stick to the truth!.

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