Then there are the changes that hurt, really hurt.
When I look at that long list it seems a little overwhelming. Okay maybe a lot overwhelming, and it didn't include things like car breakdowns, broken dishwashers, broken teeth, and all the other smaller problems we get in our lives. Yet when I think back about the day by day life and not just those big changing moments I can see how each and every one of those events has been good for me and my family.
It's hard to put into words everything I feel about all these changes. I would be lying if I said I had gone through each of them bravely and never wavering with my faith in God. There have been days I have been so consumed with the junk going on I could hardly function, could hardly sleep or eat, or I ate too much. I'm thankful that I did not stay in that state of mind for very long though.
What comes from all of this is growth. While you are mulling things over in your brain that have happened in your life, it's a way for you to grasp and understand the change that has happened, especially when it is a drastic change. Through His Word, God helps you sort out and piece together the mess you feel like you are living in.
I'm not the same person I was four years ago, far from it. Those events that hurt, and hurt badly grew me up in the Lord. I have more compassion and understanding than I used to. I understand the utter fear of losing everything, your spouse, your home, your livelihood. I see things from a new perspective. I love more freely, and hang on to things, even people a little less.
Change, even if you don't believe it right now, really is a good thing. I admit that going through difficult things like my family and I have can be rough, almost devastating, and it would be easy to lose sight of how good it actually is.
Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. 1 Peter 4:12-13 (NKJV)We were told a long time ago that change would happen, painful, difficult change, but at the end there would joy. In fact, through it there could be joy.
I can honestly say that there have been many moments of joy over the last four years. I can also say that there still is, even in the midst of my husband being partially blind. Some days it is harder to feel and see, but I know it deep down inside, because that joy is based on a promise.
Most assuredly, I say to you that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; and you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy. A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you. John 16:20-22 (NKJV)I've learned to embrace change. It hasn't happened overnight. It took years, more than I would care to admit. Through it all He has never allowed my joy to be taken from me. In fact, my joy is greater today than it was four years ago.
Change to me? It means increased joy. What does change mean to you?