Incessant Divigation

“CLINT EASTWOOD, THE GREAT UNIFIER” 

by Rick Jones, Husband of the Minister's Wife

I'm not known for “high brow” tastes. When Lois and I married, she brought to our new home a massive hardbound volume of The Complete Works of Shakespeare. I had an oversized paperback edition of The Annotated Dracula. And at least six dozen Perry Mason mysteries. The closest thing to “classic literature” I owned was probably A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. And I hadn't opened it, I just owned a copy.

Our film preferences weren't exactly compatible, either. It wasn't just the usual “chick flick vs. guy stuff” scenario. Almost every year, our anniversary activities include going to a movie. Our anniversary is next week [WA-HOO! THIRTY-ONE YEARS]. The “which movie” discussion has been going on since July 2nd and is still not resolved.

The argument – I mean, discussion – never gets heated, though, because we're used to it. We go through the same process at home over television shows every week. She likes several British comedies on PBS, mysteries with Jane Marple and Hercules Poirot, Midsomer Murders, and can barely wait for the next season of Downton Abbey. The only British TV series I really enjoy are some of the Sherlock Holmes shows and Monty Python's Flying Circus.

So, you're wondering [if you read the title for this article], how does Clint Eastwood fit into the picture?

One thing we always agreed on watching were Clint Eastwood movies. If I'd suggest something with Charles Bronson or Boris Karloff, Lois's first response would be a grimace. But Eastwood films were fine. I thought it meant there was a glimmer of hope that she would one day appreciate the finer points of John Wayne westerns and Abbott and Costello comedies.

Years later, Lois “confessed” that she'd had a teen-age crush on Clint Eastwood. She used to dream that some day she would marry someone who resembled one of Clint's movie characters. My reaction was, “So, I guess that goes to show that sometimes, dreams do come true.”

She didn't seem amused. She probably spent the rest of that day wondering if I knew the difference between Clint Eastwood and Jerry Lewis.

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* LOIS: * 

* HAPPY 31st ANNIVERSARY! * 

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[Readers, if you reply to this article, feel free to mention that Marvel's Ant Man movie sounds incredibly romantic.]