Friday, July 31, 2015

Incessant Divagation


“# 37: MORPHINE” 
by Rick Jones, Husband of the Minister's Wife

I've shared several stories about my medical woes. It's been therapeutic, in a way, to know that some people can get a laugh out of my hospitalization, even though I wasn't laughing when the events happened. While I've had a few laughs at the expense of the medical profession, I'm grateful that hospitals and their staffs were there when I've needed them.

One nurse “prescribed” an exercise in gratitude when she could tell I was depressed over my medical condition. “List on paper 100 things you're thankful for”. One hundred! That's tough for a guy who will remind you that every silver lining has a dark cloud.

Another patient said he heard of a guy who had the same assignment, and got so desperate for ideas that his list included “the last knuckle on the little finger on my right hand; the middle knuckle on the little finger on my right hand; the knuckle at the base of the little finger . . .”. That routine accounted for over a quarter of his items. The nurse read the list, and told him to do it again, seriously, or she'd prescribe the 200-item list.

I had a variety of items, ranging from the expected, like God and Lois and my Bible, to chocolate and Italian sausage, to Boris Karloff and a DVD player to watch his movies on. Yeah, I got pretty desperate around the low 80s [disco music went out of style; the corn poker things that you hold corn-on-the-cob with so your fingers don't get covered with butter; nitrogen], but I finished the task. My 100th item was “I'm thankful that I get to stop at 100”.

At first I thought the project was a dumb idea, but making the list actually did help. I recommend that you try it sometime when you're feeling down. It caused a bit of trouble for me later, though, when Lois wanted to know why her name wasn't in the top five. Fortunately, I actually had a reasonable explanation: unfair working conditions! The same person who “prescribed” the exercise was also giving me heavy medication! [Now the title of this article makes sense to you, right?]

That averted crisis led to item #101: I was thankful that, despite my drug-induced delirium, I had written down my wife's name before listing Boris Karloff.

9 comments:

  1. It sounds like you learned a great lesson from making the list. Maybe we should all make one of those lists?

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    1. He often brings it up and says how good it was for him and that I should do it too!

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  2. I think doing this would be helpful to anyone. I'd like to try this.

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    1. Rick would agree that it would be good for anyone to try.

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  3. Lol. I love your 100th item and you are so wise to mention Lois' name first before Boris Karloff.

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    1. I tease him every now and then about me not being at number 1 or 2. It keeps him on his toes. LOL!!

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  4. I just loved reading this one. I think one can list not 100s, but 1000 things to be thankful for when we look at people who don't have what we have been gifted with. I think I should sit & try myself!

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    1. We all have so much more than we realize to be thankful for!

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  5. Thanks for sharing. I think it is always a good exercise to recall things you feel grateful for. It is wonderful for lifting the mood!

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