Incessant Divagation

“WHY DO YOU STILL READ THOSE GOOFY COMIC BOOKS ?” 

by Rick Jones, Husband of the Minister's Wife

I was looking through some of my old comic books recently. Whenever I do this, Lois just shakes her head, but doesn't say anything about it. Sometimes she thinks I should just sell them all and grow up, but doesn't say anything. I think she just got tired of all the various reasons [AKA “excuses”] I've given her over the years for keeping my treasures. 

"Growing up leads to growing old which leads to dying”, I'll say, stealing lyrics from John Cougar Mellencamp; or “there are worse habits, and as long as I'm not buying new comics, this habit's already paid for”; or “they may be worth a ton of money some day” [we both know that for at least 98% of them, that's not true – and the real trick is figuring out which ones are part of the 2%]. The best excuse – oops, I mean, reason – I can give for keeping the comics is “the boys will inherit them”. That doesn't convince Lois of anything, because she's not sure the collection will do either of our sons any good, but it rallies the boys to my side of the discussion.

Our sons already get some of my treasures as part of their Christmas and birthday gifts. I believe in the old adage, “Keep your children happy – they get to decide which nursing home to put you in”. 

Lately, my response to “reading comics AGAIN?” has been, “Well, like you said, I should get rid of some of them. I'm sorting out the ones I could sell on eBay. There are a bunch I'm ready to sell, but these few are ones I'm “iffy” about. Reading them once more will help me make up my mind”. 

Theoretically, that's a sound idea. But practically, out of 40 “iffy” comic books, 3 will wind up in the “sell” box, 2 will be set aside as presents for the boys, and the other 35 go back into the collection. The fact that I don't even have a seller's account on eBay makes it hard to defend my statement. Plus, when Lois sees comics featuring Captain America, the Fantastic Four, Dracula, or Super Goof in the “iffy” stack, she knows it has become the “nostalgia” stack, because there's not much chance of me parting with those treasures, to the boys or to the highest bidders.

And no, “Super Goof” is not a disparaging reference to Superman.

Super Goof is the super-powered character that Mickey Mouse's friend Goofy becomes when he eats special peanuts known as “super goobers”. At one point, he starred in a comic book named Goofy Adventures, my nominations for the best comic book title ever.