HUSBAND OF MINISTER'S WIFE

“HUSBAND OF MINISTER'S WIFE” 

Rick Jones 

Why was it so hard for me to decide on a name for this column? After all, while a title is important, isn't the written content most important?

Actually, a title can make or break a writer's efforts. Would Amazing Spider-Man have sold many copies if it was called Keen Bug-Guy?

Uh-oh. I'm dangerously close to getting sidetracked, because I love comic books. When Lois and I were a young married couple, comics cost around 50 cents each. She would question my hobby [I think her term was “addiction”] and I'd say, “Well, at least it's cheaper than cocaine.” Today, a comic book costs $2.99 or more, so I wouldn't try that comeback. [Disclaimer: I do not know, nor have I ever known, the going price for cocaine.]

Back to the topic of why I rejected some ideas for this column's title.

GUESTITORIAL: I've previously participated in Lois's blogging project, and consider myself privileged to make this ongoing contribution to it. But I'm her partner, not just a guest. Besides, it sounds dumb.

RICK'S RAMBLINGS: I really like this one, and it certainly describes my style here. But my brother wrote many opinion pieces for friends and coworkers under the title “Randy's Ramblings.” I respect his efforts too much to steal the title. Also, he might sue me. He couldn't get much money, but he might have his eye on my comic book collection.

RUMINATIONS: “Ruminate” can mean “ponder” or “think over thoroughly,” but it originally referred to chewing the cud, like a cow. Not the image I want in mind when I sit down to write. Besides, I know what a cow generally leaves for the world to see after it's through ruminating and digesting. And I know enough sarcastic people [like my brother] who would say that's what my articles are like without setting myself up for the comparison.

And after rejecting those ideas, the next one that came to mind was HUSBAND OF MINISTER'S WIFE. I personally find it amusing because it's a variation on old Universal Monster movie titles like Bride of Frankenstein, Son of Dracula, Revenge of the Creature. But it came to mind at around 2:30 AM, possibly influenced by a late-night snack that included bologna past its “best by” date. It was this terrible idea that led to our “Name This Column” contest.

[Enter the contest HERE!]