December 14th is going to be a day I remember for a long time. It's the day my life split in two, at least on my left it did.
I know, that sounds really confusing, but on December 14th last year I experienced something I never thought I would especially at my age. My oldest son and I were watching one of our favorite shows, Dr Who. We decided to have a Who-a-thon and watch one whole season together and just really enjoy it. While watching the shows I noticed something odd with my vision, every time I looked towards the left I was seeing two of every thing. So I did what every person who wears glasses does, I cleaned them. No help. So I rubbed my eye. No help. So I rubbed it again and then again, then I even rinsed it out with water. Still no help. It just didn't go away no matter what I did. The odd double image continued through the next day and my husband insisted I go to the Dr. I could not get into the office until the afternoon of the 16th and by then the double vision I was experiencing got worse. The images were farther apart and I was also seeing double slightly looking straight ahead. The whole time I was going through this I was trying to continue on with life just like normal around Christmas, after all we had a huge church-wide Christmas party Saturday night the 17th I was in charge of. There was too much to do to let a little double vision get in the way. The Dr didn't seem too concerned about the double vision and gave me some medicine to help with what could be best described as motion sickness. She said if it wasn't better in about 4 days to come back to see her.
So on I went feeling so sick to my stomach all the time from all the crazy movement in front of me I could hardly stand it. The best way I can describe it is like watching one of those actions scenes in a movie where the camera is jerking around all over the place really fast all the time! I got through the Christmas party and through the next day (only going to the morning service) by resting every chance I got and keeping my eyes closed as often as I could. Something seriously was wrong and I was a little concerned about what it was. I'm sure any one of you could imagine as well as I can all the possibilities running through my head.
My sweet husband arranged for me to see a different Dr early Tuesday morning. I got in the office and was there less than 5 minutes before they all seemed very concerned about me. I had 5 staff members buzzing around helping me and my husband. In just a few minutes more I was on the way to the hospital to have some tests. Something they feared was seriously wrong.
After lots of tests and one MRI, I was admitted to the hospital for observation and then another kind of MRI for the next morning. It seemed I had Left Eye 6th Nerve Palsy with Diplopia. Now to translate that means that the 6th nerve to my left eye that controls the movement of it was paralyzed and it was causing double vision. But they didn't know why it happened.
The next morning I was told I didn't need the extra MRI and I could go home. They didn't know what had caused the double vision but was sure it wasn't life threatening. I was told to do a lot of things as a precaution and just in case and we would see how things went in a few weeks.
So a few weeks passed, I was still sick to my stomach from the dizziness and movement and double vision and nothing was better. I was tired all the time, could hardly eat and just plain felt miserable! So on the follow up visit they put me on a steroid to ease the swelling they thought was around the nerve. So for the next 10 days not only was I dizzy, miserable, and tired I was also grumpy, cranky and constantly hungry! Oh and there was absolutely no improvement in my vision. I was walking around half in a daze not really seeing where I was going and struggling with pretty much everything I tired to do.
To say the least this was taking a toll not just on me. Physically I was messed up, but mentally I was strained. I kept trying very hard to keep focused on the Lord and His purpose for me to go through this. I never questioned why, but have to admit I wondered for what purpose would He allow me to go through it. But the toll was also on my family. My husband and sons were (and are) very concerned for me and seeing what it was doing to me. All three of them were tired from helping carry my load for me, especially my husband.
This is where the Lord wanted us to be, stripped clear down to the bottom so He could speak to us and show us and others how He can work some pretty mighty things in our lives! Everything we were doing was not in our own strength, but completely in His. We had no strength left after a month of this crazy life. All we had was Him!
I was scheduled for another appointment on the 12th of January. I got a call that the appointment had to be cancelled because of an emergency, but I quickly asked if I could see someone else in the office instead. I needed some answers I told the girl on the phone! I just wanted to know what was going on. So she found me an appointment a day earlier than the previous one. When I got to the office I met with a wonderful Nurse Practitioner who looked through everything in my chart and talked with me for a good while. She could sense how much I needed to find out exactly what was going on so we would know where to go from here. She was ready to send me to one of the area's most expensive Neurologists to possibly get some answers. Then she scooted back on her stool and a huge smile came over her face. She looked me square in the eye and said she knew exactly who to send me to and in less than 5 minutes she was back in the room handing me a paper with the appointment scheduled for the next day with an eye specialist.
The next morning, the 12th, I was in the office of not only an Ophthalmologist, but a Neurologist and Op-tho-neurologist. This Dr was exactly who I needed to see. Her specialty was nerves of the eye. Withing 5 minutes of seeing her we had a clear and definite diagnosis and an attack plan for how to get better. I cannot even begin to tell you how much relief it was to hear exactly what I had experienced and what we were going to do to get through it. I think you could call it God's Peace!
Better yet, when we were checking in we found out that because we were working through a special agency all of my visits to this extremely specialized Dr were only going to cost me $20! The last Neurologist they were going to send me to was going to give me a discounted rate for $260!! Praise God!! I like $20 a whole lot better!!!
Anyway, this whole long story is to say that what is wrong with me is definitely in my head. I have Left Eye 6th Nerve Palsy with Diplopia brought on by a Stroke. Yep, I had a stroke on the 14th of December. I didn't even feel it. My Dr said (in her exact words) it was an itsy bitsy tiny stroke that would never show up on any test. Never the less it was a stroke and I am going to be making some big changes in my life. They still don't know exactly what caused it since all my tests came back fine and my eyes are very healthy. It will take 3-6 months for the nerve to heal, and yet that is not guaranteed. But I know my God and He allowed this in my life for a reason. He took me through a really rough patch to get to this day and I'm going to continue to trust Him to take me through the rest of this crazy double vision journey!
I'll be posting from time to time to let you know how it is going, and any prayers you could offer up for me sure would be appreciated!
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